Purpose is such a funny word… it means so many things at many different times in your life. When you’re young, your purpose is to have fun, to “live life to the fullest”, to experience as much as the world is able to offer you. Through transitional periods in your life, your purpose is to survive, to take lessons the universe is offering you and to come out better than when you went in. Purpose to some people is work, to some others it’s family, religion, and to those wild souls out there it’s to push everything to it’s absolute limit and ensure that you feel every single moment.
As I sit here seven months pregnant with a little girl, I wonder what my purpose is at this exact moment. The last year has been such a whirlwind. I married the perfect person for me in a perfect wedding on a perfect beach one year ago. He is part of my purpose on this earth. I have a job that I love, so much so that I am only taking 3-4 weeks off after the baby comes, at which time I will work from home. That’s surely part of my purpose. And then there’s this little life inside of me, growing at every moment – this must be my third piece of purpose. Then I have family and friends, the fourth piece of my purpose pie.
I’ve never found it particularly hard to be grateful for the things that I have in my life. Sometimes I find myself sitting back, breathing it in, and realizing how lucky I am. Now that I have this little life in my possession, half of me and half of my husband, I wonder how fathers can leave children behind. It makes me question what kind of person my father was to leave us behind, what kind of person my step-father is for realizing we were part of his purpose and embracing 3 shit head teenagers when he did.
I realize the responsibility we now have in raising a strong woman. The rest of my life will be dedicated to making sure she is grounded and equipped with the tools that she needs to succeed. Ensuring that she understands compassion, love, responsibility, and one day – her own purpose.
I’ve always wondered what kind of parent I would be, wondered how I would be able to cope with the amount of personal strength it takes to be a parent in the first place. I often look in wonder at my friends that have kids. At some points I’ve even questioned if I would be able to handle what they handle on a daily basis. I’m strong, sure, but am I that strong? I know so many women who can walk on fire carrying their children in their arms and they don’t even ask for shoes. It’s just their nature. I hope I can be like them.
I hope I can balance my four pieces of purpose-pie. I hope that I can arrive at the other end of my life accomplished and fulfilled, knowing that I have served my purpose, and been grateful for what has been given to me.